Why would i want a new world?

pretty much my birthday is in 10 days!!
i'll be 18! im totally stoked

we have rehearsal everyday untill then and a few days after which could either be a good or a bad thing, i dunno.
i really just wanna go out and have some fun tho.

maybe find a boy thats be nice.

i got offered a job as a D.J im pretty sure thats gunna be sick. jeanette and i can work together. and pretty much use our bandit skills 100%

i guess thats all for a meaningless update

maybe its just that season.
or maybe its just that ive had this feeling for over a year,
not to mention that tues will mark the anniversary of the dying and loss of the better part of my heart....
im feeling discontent
i think its more of a jealousy issue.
if given the chance to portray envy right now,
id be the leading lady.
i am so increadibly envious
that i have loved and lost and not loved again
that i can hardly be happy for those that have the one thing i treasure in life.
i have always said to myself,
no matter what state of mind you are in....smile for those that are truley in love... because you have known how wonderful that feeling was.
you know when your little and your eat your grandma's home cooked apple pie. and now that your older, you get a smell of it and even tho your grandmothers passed away, you can still remmeber the taste of that pie? and then as the years go by, that smell doesnt evoke such a strong taste.... im to that point.
i cant even remember much of what it felt like.
i can only remember that i want it back.

im restless.
i am unsatisfied.
im pissed off.
and
about all
im pathetic
because im venting to a white computer screen attached to a black key board, connected to no solution.

im not gunna lie, im bitter.

is written on my lower tummy...oh lala

mini tour was today.
really cool.
jr high age bothers me
b/c they are so impressionable, you can see them struggling, torn between childhood and young adult hood. caught inbetween two worlds of having the innocence of a child, & immaturities, yet wanting to grow up so fast.
i noticed how they dressed and just how much they want to fit in and grow up. but they cant escape the innocence of childhood in their faces.
i think maybe im just bitter b/c a) i never felt like i was trying to fit in like that. but im sure everyone had these thots of me)
and b) b/c my BABY brother is growing up. he wants so bad to be independent and cool and grown up, but he is still MY BABY BROTHER. and it just breaks my heart to know he is going to make the same mistakes i have. and mostly that he wont get to be a child anymore.
the little boy who would get excited over an icee at target or skate around the neighborhood. or comein with stains all over his clothes.
it kills me to think he thinks of girls just like all the other perverted guys ( little boys) and that he's going to get his heart broken onday and thats a pain no big sister can ease.

wow okay that was super mushy. im teary eyed. and this TOTALLY started out with mini tour!!

so we performed it was SO fun!!

okay
i just wanted to blurt out my love for the improv team
we are THE BIGGEST most random dorks ever. like we warm up by dancing all crazy and dumb.... and we are totally cool with that and enjoy it.
pretty much the most awesome group of teens ever.

much love
whit

yep you read right.
ive gone to the gym everyday this week and 3 days last week =) WOOT
yet im drinking a coke and chillin lol

also livejournalers.... ive checked like 20 tiems today and no new updates... BOO

busy busy busy

im an ensemble member of the musical.
too bad i dont have a good voice, or even a singing voice at all.
if i did id own you musical tworps lol

pac mean girl crew back in action.

so here was my day
*on time to 1st per AMAZING
*super annoyoing mr. lopez today.
* weird weird weird reading in eng
not to mention 3 drills
* note to staff.... we hardly fit under out desks when we were in kindergarden.... the desks have hardly increased in size and we've quadrupled.... not ok.... a sick joke, on us, quite possible*

3-6 musical
6-8 babysit ( super akward *ask 4 details*)
8-9:15 gym
*sadly i missed yoga from 7 to 8*

anywho.... cameras broken.
no one reads this.
boo

xoxo whit

^ something i am not today

i washed my car by hand
and
took an intense kick boxing class

im worn out

ive been haning out with alyssa a lot.
its totally the kind of friendship you always hope you'll have like
she lives 2 houses away.... we walk over in out p.j's or at midnight. we just sit around, our familys are like each others second familys. its all cool. and we can run home for something anytime we want.
plus shes kick back and no drama.
not to mention we're gunna make a paper cup phone and connect then through our windows.

okay yeah so all i did today was watch wedding crashers. and then we went to starbucks. and jack called.
he was on his way back to school hayward. and wanted to see me
it seriously made my week.
im so content when im with him.

~xoxo whit

I know this absence has probly been affecting all of your lives negativly... jk lol but no really ive missed my little cubical in which i can pour my heart out and read about all of my friends lives. it helps me feel connected =)


i know its a little late but merry christmas!



a detailed update will follow in the near future

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YAY!